Hey, everyone! I quit my job.
I did it in the least confrontational way possible: I called in sick on a day that my bosses decided I should have an off-cycle performance review and then emailed them on the next work day with my two weeks’ notice. I’d had enough; it was a toxic environment for me because I thrive on open communication and collaboration and fun and none of those things were happening there. It was a bad fit, plain and simple. The harder I tried to make myself valuable the more I didn’t fit in. I was fed up with having to see myself through their lenses and knew that their perception of me didn’t define who I was as a person.
It feels like failure even though – logically – I know it isn’t. I accept that the older I get the more my skill sets narrow; maybe I’m not a Jack-of-all-trades anymore! And maybe that’s a good thing! Just because my skill sets are narrowing doesn’t mean that my interests are.
And so, I enter the great unknown. Without a steady paycheck. Without benefits.
But really? Those benefits started to feel like fucking tethers. I’ll miss being able to go to Disneyland whenever I want, but that golden admission ticket was keeping me from doing bigger and better things.
A lot of people have asked, “What’s next!?” and I’ve been loathe to answer in the last two weeks; I knew that the people I worked with didn’t think highly of me, and knew that they’d think even less if they found out that I plan on bringing home the bacon by driving for Lyft. I’ve had a couple job interviews and had people extend their recommendations for positions, but honestly, for the next few weeks? I don’t want to sit in a cube. I don’t want to make rash decisions for the sake of bi-weekly direct deposits. I don’t want to wear business-casual. I don’t want to block off Monday-Friday, 9am-6pm on my calendar. I want to take a break.
Maybe I’ll want to go back to an office. Maybe I won’t. Maybe this’ll be the kick in the pants and/or the time off I need to make things happen independent of a corporation. Maybe my hustle can be all my own.
That said, Lyft is not the only thing on my plate. Here are some other things I’m doing:
- I just finished training for School on Wheels. They’ll be contacting me shortly to connect me with a homeless student in the area. I’ll meet with them once a week, help them with their homework, and try not to cry buckets on the drive home while counting my blessings.
- I can put my heart and soul into producing Emotionally Broken Psychos. I’m grateful that Molly and Nicole, my Psychos-in-crime (partners-in-Psycho?) have been understanding that I’ve been distracted the past few weeks….although it should be noted that we hit over 12,000 listens in the first 30 days. Imagine how far we can get when I’m not slacking!
- I can plan and launch season 2 of The Bevs. My work schedule and Ariana’s head-butted for the whole first season, which lead to what I feel was a disjointedness in the production of it. But again, we have episodes with nearly 4,000 listens, so I guess we weren’t doing too shabby.
- I’m continuing volunteer work with Project Elev8. My buddy Tom had a birthday in July and billed it as a “fund-rager”, raising over $8,600 for the organization. I spoke with the founders at the birthday party, connected with them afterwards, and was blown away at how quickly they initiated me into their team. I offered to take over website and social media duties, and rebranded everything with a new logo. They’ve asked me to travel with them to Haiti in October.
- I have a project in mind for me and me alone. I haven’t told a lot of people about it. I will when it hits it’s stride.
- I’m assisting Irish Screen America with their Los Angeles festival. It’s set for September 22-25, and their first assignment for me was, “Find us pubs to drink at!” I love them. I found them great pubs. Speaking of Ireland…
- I wanna go to Ireland. My best friend I have been talking about it for a while and I’m ready to make it happen.
- I’ve been asked to help with the filming of a documentary, the details of which I can’t divulge at this moment.
So! I’m busy. Not all of these things will pay the bills; in fact, most of them won’t. But I’m working on staying present and keeping my eyes open for opportunities that align with who I am, what I can do, and what’s worth doing.